Don’t be Afraid to Fall
by lil-rock14
Summary: Post Lucifer Rising. Castiel wasn’t completely sure that he was safe, but was all too willing to fall asleep. That order he was happy to oblige. One shot


**Don't be Afraid to Fall**

**So at the end of Season 4, I just have this mental picture that Castiel got his ass handed to him. And since only angels can kill other angels, and he went up against more than one, he died. Poor Castiel, the lover not the fighter. But this story doesn't mean it's true. **

Summary: Post Lucifer Rising. Castiel wasn't completely sure that he was safe, but was all too willing to fall asleep. That order he was happy to oblige. One shot

**Disclaimer: I own nothing besides the idea behind this story. I am spoiler free for Season 5, so this is all just speculation.**

He felt wrong. First of all, he knew that he shouldn't be feeling anything. He shouldn't exist. Not after what the archangels did to him for helping Dean. He was supposed to be dead.

But he wasn't.

And he felt everything.

He felt his body shake as his lungs strained to inflate and take in a breath. He felt where his wings broke from where the archangels grabbed him to stop him from flying away. He felt the bruises and broken bones in his body from the punches that they threw. He felt the torn and cut pieces of flesh where swords cut into his vessel's body. He felt the blood dripping and drying as it leaked from the body.

Most of all, he felt weak. And tired.

Breathing and opening his eyes took an extra effort. He had trouble doing either of them, so he shook as he breathed, and his eyes stayed closed. He was laid on his side, probably on a floor. It was cold. He was cold. And he realized he was naked.

He opened his mouth to say something, but his thoughts and his body weren't on the same wavelength.

A moment later, he felt when someone standing over his prone body. He tried to unfurl his wings to get away, but he knew he wouldn't be able to. Even thinking about it was enough for him want to fall unconscious again. "Sh…" the voice whispered. The person was a male.

Something about him felt familiar. He couldn't place it. Not in the state he was in. He heard him take a few steps around him. Castiel felt him stop right in front of him. The man put his hand on Castiel's forehead. The injured angel mewled, and the hand was removed. It burned where it touched him. "Rest, Castiel. You're safe," the person whispered.

Castiel wasn't completely sure that he was safe, but was all too willing to fall asleep. That order he was happy to oblige.

He felt his body start to heal.

LKLKLKLKLKLKLK

When Castiel regained consciousness again, he opened his eyes. He found that he was in the same position that he fell asleep in. The only difference was this time, he felt something covering him.

He found it easier to breathe. His bones felt like they were where they should be and not moving. He felt no open wounds on his body. He didn't feel as weak as he did the first time he awoke, and he was shocked that he had enough strength to be able to open his eyes.

He saw that it was dark. He looked down and saw that there were no scars on his body, just a lot of dried blood. He saw that what was covering him was the trenchcoat he constantly wore. He was surprised. He thought that it was destroyed in the fight. Everything else was.

His eyes slid closed again. He tried to move his body, but he wasn't taken aback when he couldn't. He felt his body relax as he was about to fall back asleep. Just as he was about to lose consciousness, he felt someone standing over him again. "You're awake," he said.

Castiel tried to speak, but he couldn't find his voice. The person put a hand to his neck and began to massage under his jaw causing his mouth to water. When his throat wasn't as dry, Castiel coughed, shaking his body and sending ripples of pain throughout it. He groaned as he opened his eyes. A handsome man in a suit stood in front of him. His eyes shone, even in the darkness. He looked into the man's eyes for a moment before he looked away, unable to keep his gaze. The care in them was daunting. He licked his lips before he spoke. "Am I…"

"You're alive. You're all right."

But that wasn't what he wanted to know. "Am I still…"

"Essentially," he replied, answering what he wanted to know. "You still have your grace. You haven't fallen." He continued to massage Castiel's jaw.

"You brought me back," he whispered through the pain. He tried to ignore the burning coming from the man's fingertips.

The man smiled. "I did."

"Why?" Castiel's tone was accusatory.

"Why not?" The man stared at the hurt angel. He thought that he would be more grateful to be alive.

"Lucifer," Castiel said with as much force as he could. He tried to curl into his body when his entire body felt his energy being used up for the response. Castiel chastised himself. The last thing he wanted was to look weak in front of him.

Lucifer broke the contact between him and the younger angel. "Castiel, please," Lucifer said.

"Why did you bring me back?" Castiel asked, his voice cracking. His eyes watered because of the pain his body felt. He wasn't use to it and he couldn't control his reactions.

Lucifer stepped back from the angel. Castiel looked up, trying to see what Lucifer was thinking. Lucifer ran his hand down his face. He rested his hands on his hips. "Because you didn't deserve to die."

"I tried to stop you from rising."

"I would've risen eventually, Castiel. But I didn't want to do it to make Zachariah, and his pompous self, happy. I wanted to do it for me, not for him and his agenda."

"You brought me back to torment him?"

"Castiel, you didn't deserve any of the punishment that they gave to you. Bringing you back was only right."

"You don't have this much power."

"I do," Lucifer said with a smile. "Potesta inferna, me confirma." Lucifer's eyes rolled to the back his head and he smirked as he felt himself radiating with power. Castiel shuddered as those words left Lucifer's lips. The older angel saw the younger's reaction. "I'm sorry, brother. That was inconsiderate of me."

"You are not my brother."

"And those who did this to you have the right to call you that?" Lucifer said in disbelief. "I don't care if you disobeyed, Castiel. It shouldn't matter. You are the most loyal to our Father. You didn't deserve anything they did to you. Not the pain, much less death."

"But…"

"Enough," Lucifer said. His voice was soft, but the tone was definite. He turned to walk out of the room they were in.

With a flutter of wings, Castiel knew that he was alone. After a few moments, he fell asleep. He didn't have the strength to stay awake, even knowing that he was vulnerable in the presence of Lucifer.

LKLKLKLKLKLKLK

When he awoke again, Lucifer was already standing over him. He also saw the sun shining in from one of the windows. He saw that he was lying down in the middle of an abandoned church.

Castiel maneuvered to try and sit up. He got up to his elbows before he used up all of his energy and fell back to the floor. Lucifer was at his side a second later and helped ease him into a sitting position.

When Castiel was finally able to sit on his own, Lucifer stepped back. Castiel's chest heaved as he took a few deep breaths. He bunched his trenchcoat around his hips when he realized that he was still naked under it.

Castiel looked up and saw Lucifer kneeling in front of him, holding out a bottle. "Drink this," he said.

"Why?"

"Because you're body, not just you, are healing. Your vessel will appreciate it."

He didn't trust Lucifer's motives. "I'm not—"

"Castiel," Lucifer exasperated. "I didn't bring you back just to poison you. Drink."

Castiel held out a shaky hand. Lucifer unscrewed the cap and he took the bottle from him. He took a sip from the bottle and held it back out to Lucifer. The older angel shook his head. Castiel kept drinking until half of the bottle was empty. Then Lucifer took the bottle from his hand. "Why did you bring me back?" Lucifer bit his lip, not wanting to answer. Castiel saw it and pressed for a response. "Lucifer."

Lucifer took a seat on the floor in front of Castiel. Castiel was finally able to get a good look at him. He had chosen a good-looking vessel, which didn't surprise Castiel at all. But his human beauty was nothing compared to his true form. To see that contained in a human was unnerving to Castiel. Lucifer took a deep breath, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I heard what the angels did to you when you disobeyed," Lucifer said. He was trying to change the subject.

"What?" he asked. Lucky for Lucifer, Castiel didn't realize what he was trying to do. Therefore he didn't know that Lucifer had succeeded.

"Before I was set free. I was listening. When you were ripped from your vessel."

"His name is Jimmy. Jimmy," he whispered. Castiel's eyes went wide in realization. "He—"

"He's safe," Lucifer said, quelling Castiel's worries.

"Where?"

He pointed to Castiel's bare chest. "I brought him back. I thought you would appreciate it if I did."

Castiel nodded slowly. That was the closest thing to a thank you that Lucifer was going to get. "Did he feel it?"

The fallen angel shook his head. "As far as he's concerned, you've been asleep. A deep, healing sleep."

"But I…" Died didn't seem like a sufficient enough word to describe the state he was previously in.

"I found him and I erased everything that happened after you died. He won't ever know."

"He'll—"

"Castiel," Lucifer sighed. "Stop being such a good angel. It only got you in trouble in the past. Worry about yourself first, then everyone else."

Castiel sighed. He wasn't able to put himself before others. Even now, when that mentality got him killed. "I can't," he whispered. Sadness painted his tone.

"You should. You have to. Everyone who has ever known you thinks that you are dead."

He looked up, eyes wide. "They can't sense me?" Castiel asked. The question hurt. He looked down.

"You're near me. My power overshadows yours right now." Lucifer leaned over and placed a finger under the sad angel's chin. He lifted it up so their eyes could meet. "Don't be sad, Castiel. They'll feel you when you're strong enough. Then you'll be able to see all of them. Zachariah, those archangels that came after you, Dean—"

"Dean," he whispered. He moved his face out of Lucifer's hand.

"Dean Winchester," Lucifer sighed.

"What about him?" Castiel said, narrowing his eyes.

"Nothing."

Castiel glared at Lucifer. "Don't you dare think about hurting him," he tried to threaten. It didn't hold much validity with the state he was in. But he needed to protect his charge.

"I won't. I have to thank him."

"For what?"

"He is the righteous one who started the Apocalypse," he said proudly. Lucifer paused. "I watched, you know," he began, his voice softer than it was. "Those thirty years he stayed on the rack, and the ten he was off. A little more time and he would've made a devastating demon."

"I would not have allowed that to happen."

"I know," Lucifer said, simply. "I watched you rescue him, Castiel. How brave."

Castiel furrowed his eyebrows. His eyes darkened. "Don't patronize me, Lucifer."

"I'm giving you a compliment. I know the bond you formed with him the moment you saved him. It was beautiful."

"Don't—"

"You know that they were using you to get to him, right?" Lucifer said. "That was one of the reasons why they brought you back to heaven."

"I was brought back to heaven because I disobeyed."

"Then you shouldn't have been able to come back down to Earth. It should've taken you a lot longer than it did to recondition yourself."

"I realized all the mistakes that I had made."

"No, you didn't," Lucifer laughed. "You just said what Zachariah wanted to hear. And he knew. I have to hand it to him. He's smart that one. He knew that you'd be the only one able to get through to Dean."

"Don't say that," Castiel said, shaking his head. He didn't want to hear what Lucifer was saying. He paused and took a deep breath. "I want to go see him."

"Castiel. Don't concern yourself with him. Like I keep saying, you should worry about healing yourself."

"Lucifer, please."

"Don't plead, Castiel. It makes you look weak."

"But I have to…" He ran his hands through his hair. He was beginning to stress himself out with all of this worrying about everyone. Lucifer watched as his brother's hand's shook, and the tempo of his breathing increased.

He grabbed a hold of Castiel's wrists and brought it down. "Stop it, Castiel." He shook the angel.

Castiel looked at him, his expression mirroring that of a wounded puppy. "You're keeping me here," he whispered, scared.

Lucifer slowly released Castiel's wrists and they fell just as slow onto his lap. He closed his eyes and sighed. It was his turn to look down. He chastised himself for getting angry. "I'm not keeping you here, but you can't leave on your own because you're too weak." Castiel stared at him in disbelief. "Don't try to unfurl your wings and fly out of here, Castiel, it will just use up whatever strength you just gained back and will only cause you to have to stay here longer. You rest, then you can leave whenever you choose. I promise" Castiel looked up to say something else, but Lucifer raised his hand to stop him. "Now, rest." Lucifer put two fingers to Castiel's forehead.

"N—" was all Castiel was able to get out before he was put to sleep.

Lucifer put a hand on his brother's back and caught him before he fell to the floor. He held him there while clothes appeared on his body. When Castiel was dressed, Lucifer tucked the trenchcoat around him. Lucifer slid his arm under his brother's knees and picked him up. He rested Castiel's head on his collarbone. He stood up and walked toward the entrance of the church. He needed to think of a place he could take his brother where he could rest comfortably and heal.

He didn't care if Castiel left at the end of it all. He wasn't supposed to care. He was Lucifer.

He sighed then unfurled his wings.

**Here is a one shot. So, this story appeared in my head, then needed to make its way onto paper. I wrote this in a day. I don't really know where I was going with it. Maybe I'll continue it eventually. Who knows? Please keep my comments spoiler-free. Like I said, this is all just speculation. I hope that this story turned out all right. Thanks for reading. Please review. Lil-Rock**


End file.
